Last night we watched Sinister, a 2012 film starring 90’s anti-hero Ethan “What’s my glitch?” Hawke. He plays a writer of fiction that no one reads, textbooks that pay the bills, and one true crime book that gave him 15 minutes of fame. Hoping to reclaim that level of success, he moves his family to a new town to research another true crime book. What he doesn’t tell his family is that he’s moved them to a crime scene: the house where a family was murdered and one of the children went missing. He finds a box of Super8 film labeled “home movies.” Shit starts to happen.
Well. I’ve met my match. This movie scared the shit out of me. It starts slowly, with scene after scene of Ethan Hawke sitting in the dark drinking whisky on the rocks and watching horrors unfold on the sheet he’s pinned to the wall. Here’s the thing about Sinister though. There’s no slow burn of typical haunted house films. No, “huh, didn’t I turn that light off?” or “who moved my book?” that might be attributed to playful poltergeists. Once things go bad in this house, they go all the way bad, and fast. The ending is a jaw-dropper. Afghan of Doom is exhausted from being cowered under and clutched in desperation. At one point I may have whispered “turn it off, turn it off, I hate this.” Yeah, and every time I woke up during the night, I thought about that face. UGH! If you like to be scared, Sinister is fantastic.
OK, now THIS is what I was expecting going in to this with Christa. A good scary movie that puckers the sphincter, but not before empting your bowels. The story was slow as snail snot at the beginning, just teasing you on what you thought it was going to be. But then, it dropped the clutch and went full bore into it at the end, twisting and turning along the way. Turn off the lights, but away the cell phones, turn off the tablets, and give this movie a watch! It leaves you with a “did you hear that” feeling once it ends, and that’s a good thing. That lasting impression is what makes it possible to scare the brown clown out of your wife once it is over, for even more entertainment value. But be warned, your “werewolves” may become a target.